Sex Drive

What is it with gay guys? Or is it simply that gay guys tend to be more open about what they want, compared to straight guys?

There's a gay guy I know who came "out" late in life. Previously married and living a very closeted life, he finally decided in his late forties that being gay and open was more important than living a lie. And for that, I say to him "good on you!". But what is it with this attitude that he has wasted most of his life and has catching up to do?

What does he need to catch up on? Is it the number of guys he hasn't slept with and the misconception that he has to re-live his entire life again? Try to cram twenty-odd years within only a couple? Try and get laid so many times per week so as to catch up on what he missed? Is that why he is chasing the 19-22 year olds at present? Will he "upgrade" to the 25-30 age group in the next few months when he decides that he has had enough of the 19-22 year olds to compensate for the lack of conquests when he was that age?

Why get pissed off when they knock him back? Does he think that flaunting wealth and power will attract anyone into his bed? Few of the younger generation I know find wealth and money appealing enough to say "hell! I will sleep with him if it means getting hold of some of his money". The ones that do, generally use the older generation purely for what they can get out of the person, and then - generally - have their little indiscretions on the side with people of their own age.

The reason I raise all this, is that I am getting really sick and tired of my younger friends coming to me and complaining of people my age [40+] continually hitting on them, flaunting their "wealth" and then get abused when they say "no". One good example is a very close young friend of mine. He has been hit on by so many older guys that it is becoming a real joke.

Currently in a relationship, he is not only getting annoyed over these older guys hitting on him, but also their lack of respect for the fact that he has not only said "no", but also has a partner and is loyal to him. His preferred age group is his own - guys aged between 18 and 22 - not 40 and over. Not that he has anything against people my generation, but he likes guys who are his own age.

So my message to the guys my age, who love chasing guys in the 18-25 age group, if the guy says "no" then take that as a hint. He is NOT interested in you. Don't get agro over the rejection. THINK about what you are doing. How would you - in your 40s or 50s - react if someone in their 80s or 90s hit on you? Would YOU jump into bed with them? Would YOU feel annoyed over their continual advances even if you said "no" to them so many times?

Yes, we all have a sex drive, but our drive for sex should be aimed at people who are interested in us. Not in the people who are not. Some may be a lot younger than us, some may be a lot older for us. But a "no" is a "no", not a "no is a hidden "yes".

Got the jist of all this?

James