Satisfy Me If You Love Me

One of the most common problems in relationships is the inability of a lot of people to satisfy their partners. The other main problem is the lack of communication, whether through the anticipation of being seen as a deviant or through fear, also limits people from full on experimentation.

Take yours truly. I have had enough of "vanilla" sex - it's fun, don't get me wrong, but a bit more "juice" would be fun. To be totally honest, that is one of the reasons why I am so over sex, as most people I meet seem to have a narrow vision of what satisfaction is all about.

What ever happened to doing the "vanilla" sex as well as the more adventurous stuff? Like - hey - tie me up and tickle me. Or even better, tie me up, gag me and run your tongue all over me. Make me squirm! Where are the handcuffs? Where are the whips? Where for god's sake is the excitement of trying new thresholds?

Or is it simply me? Do people perceive me as being the "vanilla sex" type of person? Seriously - is that how everyone perceives me and most people? I'll be totally honest - my god! That is going to be scary!

In my entire life, only one person has taken the sex to a point where we have experimented to a level where we both satisfied each other, and yet did not "penetrate" each other. The role playing was fantastic! The games were erotic! The satisfaction was mind blowing! And yet, as two close friends - we never took it beyond that. We never actually had sex - just fun in bed, on the couch, in the kitchen, on the dining room table.

For those that prefer not to know - don't read any further.

Being tied spread-eagled across the bed face down; having someone gently whip me and then run their tongue down my entire body to the point that it became ticklish. The rope burns on my wrists and ankles were there for a week and were so bad, I had to take time off work due to "illness". There was no way I would go to work looking like that!

What I enjoy even more is doing it to someone else. I remember one day I came home and my friend was waiting for me. As always we chatted for a while before one thing led to another and ended up in bed. As was customary with us, it was his turn to be the "victim". So tied to the bed and on his back - the fun begun. No - this is not a porn story - but something that will make people sit up and take notice. Vanilla sex is out! For me anyways - I need excitement!

The fun begun with me sucking his toes and moving up his legs - nibbling him here and there. Bypassing his crotch, except for a tender kiss you know where, I moved up his stomach and chest, to his neck. Crouched over him, my butt over his crotch, I gently nibbled his neck and earlobes, moving systematically from one side to the other. As sex partners, we rarely kissed because as what's-her-name in Pretty Woman said, you never kiss because you could fall for him. But on occasions, we would share a mouthful of wine or champagne. I have lost count on how many bottles of champagne we wasted and how many times the bed sheets had to be washed afterwards.

It's amazing how many turn-on points someone has, and some in the most unusual spots on the body. Places that if done correctly, can arouse the other person no end.

Our experimentation went to the point that if we took it any further we would have had only two options left open for us. Either become a couple or go to the extreme. Sometimes I look back and think, maybe we should have taken that extra step and did become an item. And yet, I sit back and think, would it have worked out? Would we have gotten to a point where we both knew each other so well, that anything beyond that would be boring? Going to extreme did cross our minds, but we both realised that going to one extreme would become enjoyment, and gradually boring. This would in turn raise the bar for extremism, and we would venture further and further to a point where we both could end up being hurt. Not only emotionally but physically as well.

The other thing that worried both of us was that, if we found partners, would "vanilla sex" be boring? Or would we find it exhilarating due to the fact that it is so .... normal? Would our search for a partner be affected by this? And if we did find a partner, could we teach them to go beyond the "vanilla sex" without ruining it?

I know that what we learnt from each other, he practiced on his next partner - with much delight. But they never took it to the extreme we did for not only was his partner unwilling to go that far, but also because my friend found it did not give him the same satisfaction as when we did it. My own search for a partner has been hampered by this taste for non-vanilla sex. Raise the issue of handcuffs and ropes in a joking manner, and most guys bolt.

Which brings up the issue - how boring are they? Or have I got to a stage where vanilla sex is boring for me because I crave more?

Does that make me kinky?

James