A Holiday Of Changes - Part 2

It's been a week now since I have returned home, and my thoughts are no clearer than before. If anything, I am now even more confused as to what direction to take.

At work, I have learned that my work team is being merged with another one, resulting in a new supervisor - some one that I like and respect alot. And with this change, my desire to leave has somewhat been reduced to a "would be nice to find a new job". Yet mingled with all this, I have now also been offered a position in Canberra as well by a firm that I deal with at work. From their experience with me during normal day-to-day dealings [and from my past work experience], they want me over there as soon as possible.

Further, the matter has become even more confusing in that I am now being told that David wants nothing to do with me. Talk about a total turnaround by him. He has gone from liking me and telling the other guys what a "great guy" I am, to hating me and never wanting to see me again. The reason for this turnaround? No idea. He won't give any reasons. which has me totally confused.

Maybe its something to do with his past, or maybe he is realising something that he has so far in his life, failed to acknowledge. And that is, that he isn't bisexual but rather gay. This is not me "wishing" but rather based on his comments and actions during our talks - which I won't raise in here. From my past experience, bisexuals fall into two main categories - they are either gay guys who simply can not come to terms with being gay. therefore claim to be bisexual thus satisfying their sexual needs without admitting to themselves their true nature. Or, they are simply sex starved straight guys and will sleep with anyone simply to "offload", thus the reason most bisexuals that I have met are actually tops rather than versatile or bottoms. Only a small minority of bisexuals are actually "true" bisexuals - people who will commit to a person and remain loyal, regardless of whether their partner is male or female.

Either way, I can't see myself finding out as he doesn't want to speak to me, and I, well - don't have time for people who play games. If the others do find out, hopefully they will tell me, but in the end, I am moving on.

However his about-face has now left me in a situation where I need to re-assess my entire situation. Moving to Canberra for a job that pays more, will be good for me. Sydney is only a two and half hour drive away, Melbourne only five hours. Being in Canberra will allow me to not only start afresh, but also give me the ability to travel to cities I have never been to before.

Yet if I move, it will mean a totally new life with new friends and initially it will be lonely until I settle down. Sure, Loch and Anthony are there as well, but I can not rely on my social life revolving around them. They have their own life to lead, just as I would have mine.

So, in the end, I have some serious soul searching to do as to where I am going with my life. And that is the part which I hate - the uncertainty.