Where Are My Friends Going? Where Am I Heading?

I got back yesterday afternoon from spending some quality time with a lesbian friend of mine. I hadn't seen her since my mum's funeral four weeks ago, not because of her avoiding me, but rather me taking a low profile. One of solitude and reflection at my loss as well as trying to keep my dad, brother and sister in law from going off the deep end, while trying to maintain my own sense of sanity.

We sat and had a late lunch at the beachside suburb of North Haven, just the two of us, catching up and what's happening like any two good friends do. But it was after I dropped her off home, that I sensed another loss. She was leaving that evening for Sydney, first for only 6 weeks to see how she would cope living with her partner, and then if it worked out, permanently.

I looked back over the last 18 months and realised that most of my good close friends have either moved interstate or are about to. By the end of 2006 I will only have 2 close friends left in Adelaide. The rest would have also moved on to Sydney, Queensland and beyond.

My own plans of moving to Canberra for a better paying job in January and a new life, is now on hold due to mum's passing away and having to "train" my dad in the simple things of independent living. Things like how to use a washing machine, how to cook a decent meal, paying bills etc. These were things my mum used to take care of during their 45 years of marriage, and now that role for the time being has fallen on me.

I can hear some of you saying "you'll be okay, he'll get used to being alone" etc., and that I already know. And that is one of the reasons for my holiday plans for 2006. To give myself time away from here as well as foster a situation where he does start standing on his own two feet. However, it's the period between now and then that has me worried and concerned, for till that time I need to be here and I need my close friends around me for the emotional and social support. I know, it sounds selfish but then what are close friends really for? The good times and the parties only? Or are they there for the bad times as well?

And while I am going through all this, my friends are moving interstate and to a new life. In the meantime, I too need to work out where I am heading.