The Trees From The Forest

Have you ever walked into a forest and kept walking, thinking "this forest goes forever"? Or walked into one of those huge department stores with umpteen levels and gone up and down the escalators but not noticed the products on the shelves? How many times have you walked past that shop down the street and only just realised that they sold your favourite candy?

I raise this because us humans have selective listening and seeing capabilities, whether we wish to admit it or not. We only notice the things we want to notice, and when we do notice something we think to ourselves "how long has that been there?".

Example. I live in the heart of Adelaide and walk practically everywhere, even to work. I always take the same route to work and home, so after six months, one would assume that I would know the buildings in the area quite well. Surprise surprise - no I don't. For the first time in six months I noticed that there is a small business which sells imported car accessories from Japan. Now one would think that with all the auto-stuff in the window, I would have seen it. Out of curiosity, I popped in the other day and asked them how long they have been there. And the reply was "four months". Four months of me walking past it and not noticing it! That is sad.

We do the same with our relationships - whether romantic or friendship. Take my closest friend Chris, who I have known now for thirteen years. The other day he called in for a coffee and a chat after he finished work. We sat there for nearly two hours chatting when I suddenly noticed he has a small mole on the back of his neck. Now, that's nothing major, but one would assume after all this time I would have noticed that. Another friend of mine of four years continually bites his nails - never in public mind you - but his fingernails are well chewed. How can one miss that?

Further, two weeks ago I got introduced to another guy by a friend and we chatted for like an hour. It is strange how he has continually gone out to the Mars Bar [our local gay nightclub] every Friday and Saturday night for over a year now. And yet, when Greg and I were out every Friday and Saturday night last year, we never bumped into him. Looking at him, he is the type of person I could easily fall for - yet our paths never crossed before! Was it because I was too busy looking after Greg that I didn't notice anyone else, or that Jase was too busy to notice me? How many missed opportunities have I passed up without noticing?

So the questions that arise are - does familiarity with a person or place result in us missing all these little things? Do we only see what we want to see and subconsciously block out everything else? And if we do that, then why all of a sudden do they suddenly become so focused? What triggers that off in our minds to notice them?

I know that by realising this, I am now paying more attention to my surroundings and am continually being surprised by what I have failed to notice in the past. It is making my small world look a whole lot different to the way I have seen it in the past.

James