Something's Missing

Today, something different.

Just a collection of thoughts and feelings. No hidden agenda, no point of view - nothing just what's going through my mind at present.

I feel so alone today.

Don't know why, but I feel so lonely and alone. After 3 days of spending time visiting my close friends, today seems like an anti-climax. Work was busy as always and coming home to unwind was something I was looking forward to. Yet barely an hour home, I just didn't want to be here.

I went through my phonebook and every friend that was listed in there, I simply did not want to see or talk to. Online, even the regulars in the chatroom, I simply didn't have the inclination to chat.

Normally, when I have felt this way in the past, I would head for the beach. But even that today failed to pull me out of this mood. Two hours of driving around Adelaide, walking along the beach, had no impact on how I feel.

Why do I feel like this today? Is it because summer is only around the corner? Is it because all my friends [with the exception of two] are all partnered off? Is it because I am longing for something or someone, but it's simply not there? Why do I feel so "empty" inside?

Maybe I just need someone to hug for a while, who won't ask "what's wrong", won't question my mood, won't sit there and tell me their own problems.

I don't know. All I know is that tonight I am alone and am lonely.

That's all.