It's A Sad Day - Part 2

It's been less than 24 hours since my mum passed away and the tears are stilling coming on. I don't expect them to stop for quite a while, if ever. The number of calls and messages from people are still rolling in, both from family, friends and strangers who simply read my blog. Thank you and your warm compassionate thoughts are much appreciated.

The hardest thing I find is being able to talk about her. Just the thought of her not being here makes me choke and my eyes watery.

What hurts the most is the fact that she appeared to know that her time had come. Little things like telling my dad on Wednesday that they should organise their funeral plots. They had planned to go today [Friday], and yet we spent the day preparing for her funeral 24 hours later. Leaving the phone number for my uncle in Greece on the kitchen table a couple of hours earlier was also out of the ordinary. Yet she must have known that we would need it, as there were no plans on calling him. So why leave it and visible for all to see?

But what I find amazing, if that is the word, is the events leading up to her passing away. Playing with her 10 month old granddaughter outside, she decided to take her in. My father was outside gardening at the time, not any the wiser as to what was happening. It is only when about 15 minutes later, he saw young Maria crawling out of the back door crying that he realised something was wrong. He found her having a massive heartattack in the bedroom, and despite the prompt arrival of the ambulance, she did not survive. What is amazing is that Maria crawled from their bedroom, down the hallway, through the kitchen and out the back door. How a 10 month old child knew that my mother needed help, is beyond me.

Maybe God was guiding her, or her love for her grandma. I don't know. But her efforts allowed my dad to say his farewells before she passed away. And for that, I will always be greatful to her. My brother and I never got that opportunity. The "what ifs" and the "whys" will never bring about answers nor will it bring her back. But the memory of a lady who suffered so much in her life and yet found the time to give just as much of her love and time to everyone, will be treasured by all of us.

I think I have said enough for today. The tears are back. Below is a picture of my mum and Maria shortly after she was born, plus a poem I found that sums up how we all feel.

A heart of gold stopped beating

two shining eyes at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove
He only takes the best.
God knows you had to leave us
but you did not go alone,
for part of us went with you
the day He took you home.
To some you are forgotten
to others just part of the past,
but to us who loved and lost you
the memory will always last.

Love you always.
James