Why I Quit The Chatrooms

Last week I did something I thought I would never do. I quit the chatrooms, not because I met someone nor that I was bored with them. To the contrary - I enjoyed going in and chatting to the regulars. Some were - and still are - reallife friends, whilst others were net-friends.

As a regular of not only gaydar but also gay.com, I have frequented the rooms for the last 6 years or so, spending the vast majority of my time chatting in the main rooms as opposed to private chats. The purpose? Well, that was for several reasons. To meet new people, to socialise without going out, to hook up on rare occasions where I too had the need, and hopefully, to meet someone who would become important to me in my life.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of nice guys who go into the chatrooms. Some are there for the sex, some go in to catch up with friends, whilst others are simply bored and/or lonely at home and just simply want to interact with others.

However, the one thing that had become obvious over the last few months, was the amount of people who showed no respect to other people's feelings, throwing comments which were not only hurtful but also [legally] deflamatory and simply taking no time to respect the fact that although we all have a nic, we are after all human beings with feelings behind the keyboard.

For me personally, I made the effort of being honest in my profile as to what I wanted. I also made it clear that on occasions, I was not interested in private chats or looking for casual pickups. Yet over the last three weeks, I have been bombarded with requests for sex, privates and more. I was even offered cash for sex. God! I am not that desperate or cashstrapped [obviously, they were]. The polite "no thanks" to these was either abusive comments back or persistance in hooking up. To me, a "no thanks" means a "no thanks".

This, coupled with derogatory remarks about some people, who - ok - may not be the most attractive people on the planet, but they do have feelings, simply showed that people can be extremely shallow, vindictive and insensitive. One guy even threatened suicide [not sure whether he was being serious or not] and yet some in the room told him to get a move on it and do it. Now, if this guy was being serious and he did do it, how would these idiots react knowing that they had encouraged him to do it?

In the end, I took a good hard look at the whole chat thing and thought to myself "would I socialise with these kind of people in real life?". And the answer unfortunately was "no". If I wouldn't socialise with them in real life, what was I doing socialising with them in the chatrooms? There is more to life than sitting in front of a computer chatting to people who I would not want to share a drink with down at the local pub.

So I bit the bullet and quit.

Those that give a damn, and there are some in there that I would like to keep in touch with outside the chatrooms, can contact me via my gaydar profile [I still check it for messages] or they can contact me via this blog. The rest - well, I think some people need to have a good hard look at themselves and the way they interact with others.

Maybe I took things too seriously. I don't know. Maybe reality finally sunk in. I am not saying I won't go back, but I know it will be a while before I do.

J.